The GDPI Returns

This is how the interview went:
The interviewers were the same two who sat through our GD. One, a 30-something man (hereby referred to as Man) and the other a 30-something lady (any guesses what she would be referred to as...??? yes...WOMAN !!!) looking highly irritated and bored.

Here's how the whole thing went:

Man: Please have a seat... you are...Ritvik Shekhar..right ??

Me: Yes sir, Ritvik Shekhar (silently- with a V)

Man: So you have been (reading from my profile sheet) working in Honda Motorcycle and Scooter India Ltd.

Me: Yes Sir, Honda Motorcycle and Scooter India.

Woman: So Ritvik where is your company located ??

Me: Manesar Mam, it's located in Manesar.

Man: So you have worked in 2 companies, Honda Motorcycle and Scooter India Ltd.

Me (the bewildered) : No Sir, only one company, Honda Motorcycle and Scooter India Ltd... HMSI.

Man (the even more bewildered): Doesn't this mean two companies: Honda Motorcycle being one, and Scooter India Ltd being the other.

Me: Bhak sala (silently), No sir, this is only one company, HMSI.

Man and Woman (simultaneously): Ohhh.. Ok Ok.. This is only one Honda ???

Me (the gyaani): Yes, we are the only 100 % owned subsidiary of Honda Motors Japan in India.

Man: Isn't there a company called Scooters India Ltd. as well ?

Me (on guard) (SILENTLY): hai to...lekin kaha suna hai ??????????

Me (the quizzer) (ALOUD): Yes sir, the one which used to make Lambrettas.

Man (happily): Yes yes the same one.

Man (starting his run up): Ok tell me Ritvik.... You are working in a top core company making good use of your engineering degree and earning good money, why is it that you want to do an MBA ??

Me (SILENTLY): mere liye to short ball hi problem hai.. isne to opening over mein hi bouncer daal diya !!!

Me (ALOUD): Sir, right from the beginning I have had an interest in organizing events and.....

Woman (bearing a highly dirty expression on otherwise a nice face): Even I like organizing parties at home, does it mean that I should go for an MBA.

Me (SILENTLY): You must be an MBA. why the hell would MDI make you a prof otherwise ??

Me (ALOUD): No no Mam, not just that... I have actively organized fests and events at college level and have really enjoyed doing the same....

Man (interrupting): But don't you think your Mechanical Enginnering degree would be getting wasted if you go for an MBA. Just imagine that you would be selling waterbottles after becoming an mba, what use would our engineering degree come to then ??

Me (the fool): I agree sir that maybe I would not be using my engineering knowledge the way I am using it now, but then there is a lot more to engineering than just the technical knowledge.

(aaaaah... the mistake had been made)

Man and Woman (simultaneously and wickedly): Ok Ritvik, tell us what "more" is there to engineering than just the tehnical knowledge ??

Me (the bigger fool): Well you get to live with different people in a hostel.......

Woman: Come on, family ke saath bhi to live hi kar rahe the na itne saal se.

Me (gulping): Yes but here I got to live with people from different backgrounds.

Man: That can happen in a BA college as well.

Me: Yes sir, definitely, rightly said, it can happen in a BA college as well !!!

Woman (giving an even dirtier look): TIME se coaching li hai kya ??

Me (SILENTLY): gaya beta, boriya bistar baandh lo.

Me (LOUDLY & CONFIDENTLY): No Mam, I did not go for a coaching. My work hours did not permit me.
(I seriously sound more confident when I lie.)

Woman (sounding convinced): Oh ok ok... normally saare log TIME se coaching le ke aate hai aur aise hi answers dete hai.

Me: (formal) hahahaha.

Man: Ok Ritvik but I still have not understood why you want to do an mba ??

Me (SILENTLY): teri samajh mein nahi aaya to kya meri galti hai ???

Me (ALOUD): Sir of late I have felt that my learning curve has slightly tapered. The work I do is highly constrained and this way I would be limiting my career options completely. By doing an mba I hope to expand my horizons further, I have seen engineers do an mba and jump into completely different fields...... (was about to mention Menongitis)

Man: But won't the engineering knowledge be going down the drain completely ??

That was when an angel in the form of an officeboy entered the room carrying a tray having 3 glasses of juice.

Man: Ritvik, please have some juice.

Me: No Sir, I have a cold (jhooth).

Man further started talking to the juiceboy about God knows what and that I took as a good chance to finish my answer.

Me (addressing Woman specifically): I won't mind that I won't be using my engineering knowledge much. Whatever I learn at mba would be an addition benefitting me, and not a detriment in any way. So why should I regret ?

Woman: Did you have any subjects in engineering which can come to use in mba ??

Me (the good student): Yes Mam, Operations Research and Industrial Engineering.

By this time Man had finished his discussion with the juiceboy and repeated his question to me. I looked at Woman with a "abhi to bola tha" look and she obligingly repeated my answer to him.

Man (shifting gears): Ok Ritvik, so tell me, have you heard of any Indian major acquiring a foreign major very recently ??

Me (the knowledgeable): Yes Sir, I have indeed, Bharti Airtel.

Man: Is it the biggest acquisition of a foreign major by an Indian firm ??

Me (the confused) (SILENLTY): Ye tha ya Tata Corus ??? Ye tha ya Tata Corus ??? Ye tha ya Tata Corus ???

Me (the smartass): Yes Sir, it indeed is one of the biggest ever acquisitions.

Man (the smarter-ass): No no no... tell me if it is the biggest ever or not ??

Me (the not-so-confident and the not-so-knowledgeable): Yes sir, it is the biggest ever. (galat jawab)

Man (with a "huh...how ignorant" look): Okay... do you read the newspaper ??

Me: Yes Sir, The Times of India.

Man and Woman: Oho... full gossip wala paper... no use...why do you read it ??

Me (truthfully): I am quite fond of a few columnists they have.

Man & Woman: Ok.. name a few.

Me: MJ Akbar, MS Swaminathan.

Man: Okay tell us what article did MJ Akbar write y'day ??

Me (SILENTLY): fuck fuck fuck... kal ka paper hi nahi padha tha.

Me (ALOUD & SHEEPISH):I dint read the paper y'day.

Man: Okay tell us what he wrote the day before y'day ??

Me (SILENTLY): wtf...MJ writes only on sundays..acha beta... to inhe kuch nahi pata MJ ke baare mein....unless ye mujhe test kar rahe hai...

Me (ALOUD): Sir, he writes only on sundays.

Man: to last jo padha tha wo bata do.

Me(SILENTLY): 2 mahine se nahi padha...fir bhi kuch phekna padega.

Me (the Great Gambler): He wrote an article on the latest Maoist upsurge.

As I checked later, the article written the other day by MJ indeed turned out to be on Maoism...HEHEHEHEHE !!!!

Man: So what is your take on Maoism, do you think it is an intelligence failure.

Me (aah now the ball is landing the way I like it to): It definitely is an intelligence failure, or else our jawans wouldn't have been caught off guard so badly.

Man: Imagine you have to set up a committee looking into these attacks,what would your 3 main points of action be ??

Me (juicy fulltoss pe six): First, I would look at the reasons for the intelligence failure. Is it because of the fact that the commoners are aiding the Maos ?? If it surely is so, then what can be done to win back the masses ??
Second, is there a need for the army to intervene ?? Fine, we have the CRPF for controlling our internal matters, but if the matters get too big for the CRPF, I think the army should definitely be drafted in.
Third, I shall like to have a look at all the 'talks' taken place so far between the Maos and the government. Is there any scope for further 'talks' or the time has come for an out and out assault ??

Man and Woman appeared well satisfied. Man was then about to say something when Woman said that she was done. Man just as man has been doing since eternity followed Woman and said the same.

Now, this was when the funny(hopefully) part took place. Just when I thought I would be asked to leave, the following happened:

Woman: Do you know anyone in MDI ??

Me (the hesitant): Yes mam, I do have a friend in MDI.

Woman (the interested): Acha acha, batao kaun hai.

Me (the even more hesitant): Ah... there is this friend of mine in first year HR.

Woman and Man (the highly interested): Naam to batao.....

Me (the more than 'even more hesitant'): Debarati Marik, you might be knowing her....

Woman: Ahaaa.... Debarati... I know her very well.. You both collegemates ??

Me: No mam, schoolmates from Ranchi.

Woman: Achaaa... to aap Ranchi se hai...Theek hai.. We are done. Thank you.

Me (the God Knows What): May I know your names please ?? (hoping to check later with Debarati what the panelists were like...)

Woman and Man (flabbergasted): Arre... why do you want to know our names ?

Me (the innocent): It's just that I would like to know the names of the people I had my first MBA interview with.

Woman: No need no need..Debarati bata degi. Go ask her. Thank You.

Me (the apparently disappointed): Thank you both.

Well, this is how my first GD PI took place. The panelists were pretty ok. The lady initially was trying to stress me out by staring at the walls and looking disintersted when I answered. But later, she became quite friendly. The gentleman was in pretty much the same mood throughout. Ain't too confident of a selection because of my score and I somehow felt that I could not convince them on the "why mba" question. Plus the last bit of scene which might just work against me. And to add to it, despite me describing the interviewers as well I could, Debarati has still not been able to figure out their identities, dumping my heroics to the waste completely.

GDPI at MDI (Part 1)

Okay... So here's how my first GDPI attempt at an MBA college went, the lucky institute being MDI, Gurgaon. (Date: Apr 12, 2010; Venue: MDI)

The topic for the Group Discussion was highly abstract and wierd: "YOU NEED TO BE SUCCESSFUL TO BE SATISFIED."
While I am pretty fond of abstract topics, since they allow me to get whacky and all, this was one topic which I did not like much. Adding to it, the way the prof from the panel pointed out the topic scribbled on the board behind him, one could figure out the amount of interest taken in framing this topic. Can't actually blame those folks, since MDI has been having its interviews for more than 20+ days now.

As always, once the GD started, I had to frequently control an urge to bash the guy sitting next to me. What points the guy came up with... "A man should never be satisfied and a satisfied man is no lesser than DEAD." I just wish I could interview this guy once.
The GD was highly clamorous, and did not go as well as I would have liked it to. I did speak at times but never managed to steer the discussion as I like to. That's what actually happens when 9 good (read vociferous) speakers meet in a GD.
There was this small incident during the GD which I would like to mention:
This dude with a frenchie (beard) invited the group to go for a poll, so as to decide the outcome of the discussion. My first reaction was, "come on dude this isn't a debate, we don't need a poll." I wanted to ensure that the poll doesn't happen, but for this I would have had to put my head into the fish market as well, something which would have left me looking like a stinking fish myself.
As a countermeasure (Honda lingo), very quietly, I leaned close to the Violent Ass next to me and whispered... " Hey, what the hell is he talking ?? This isn't a 'yes' or 'no' discussion. "
Very quickly, the dude catching onto my words yelled, " No no no, you are mistaken, this isn't a yes or no discussion, we just cannot have a poll !!!"
Now I don't know if it was the right move or not, but Dude No. 1 definitely shut up after this without me needing to get into the business, and Violent Ass did get a "WTF" look from the prof.

The GD was followed up by a 90 minute waiting period during which I realized that the guys around me weren't much hopeful of a selection, we being the low percentile scorers. (yes 96.91 is indeed low by MDI standards).

The Interview shall be described in the post to follow.