Friday, November 15, 2013

Digvijay Singh reveals Sachin's UPA tie-up

In a sensational disclosure, UPA leader Digparajay Singh has revealed Sachin Tendulkar's recent batting failures to be a part of UPA's strategy to curb electricity prices. Digparajay Singh mentioned that the UPA government had been deeply affected by the rising electricity prices in India and had been brainstorming to combat the same for months. In association with eminent leader Jairavana Ramesh, Digparajay Singh had concluded that huge television penetration and electricity reach in India had lead to excessive power consumption, thus giving rise to an increase in electricity prices. The eminent leaders in mention had decided to capitalize on the trend of Indian cricket fans to "switch off their television sets after Sachin's dismissal" to counter the same. The UPA leaders had requested Sachin Tendulkar to get dismissed quickly in every match, following which millions of television sets in India would be switched off, thus reducing the electricity consumption. Digparajay Singh applauded Sachin for accepting the proposal and complying to it in every match without fail. In the press conference, a reporter asked Digparajay Singh if this could be termed 'match-fixing', to which he agreed and said that this move is surely going to fix people's problems of using matches instead of bulbs. The report is believed to have looked utterly disoriented after the reply.
Former cricketer Bhishun Singh Baddie has accused Sachin of using this excuse to cover up his failures to play long innings. Comments from Sachin are still awaited.
Meanwhile, Jairavana Ramesh has given the Shehzaada credit for this plan, calling it a part of the Shehzaada's "long term forward looking strategy for India".
Shehzaada on the other hand has revealed that he tore up several different plans by Dr. Maun Mohan, and finalized this one. While countered for the same, Dr. Maun Mohan replied with his trademark voracious "theek hai" speech.

Scorecard