Friday, November 15, 2013

Digvijay Singh reveals Sachin's UPA tie-up

In a sensational disclosure, UPA leader Digparajay Singh has revealed Sachin Tendulkar's recent batting failures to be a part of UPA's strategy to curb electricity prices. Digparajay Singh mentioned that the UPA government had been deeply affected by the rising electricity prices in India and had been brainstorming to combat the same for months. In association with eminent leader Jairavana Ramesh, Digparajay Singh had concluded that huge television penetration and electricity reach in India had lead to excessive power consumption, thus giving rise to an increase in electricity prices. The eminent leaders in mention had decided to capitalize on the trend of Indian cricket fans to "switch off their television sets after Sachin's dismissal" to counter the same. The UPA leaders had requested Sachin Tendulkar to get dismissed quickly in every match, following which millions of television sets in India would be switched off, thus reducing the electricity consumption. Digparajay Singh applauded Sachin for accepting the proposal and complying to it in every match without fail. In the press conference, a reporter asked Digparajay Singh if this could be termed 'match-fixing', to which he agreed and said that this move is surely going to fix people's problems of using matches instead of bulbs. The report is believed to have looked utterly disoriented after the reply.
Former cricketer Bhishun Singh Baddie has accused Sachin of using this excuse to cover up his failures to play long innings. Comments from Sachin are still awaited.
Meanwhile, Jairavana Ramesh has given the Shehzaada credit for this plan, calling it a part of the Shehzaada's "long term forward looking strategy for India".
Shehzaada on the other hand has revealed that he tore up several different plans by Dr. Maun Mohan, and finalized this one. While countered for the same, Dr. Maun Mohan replied with his trademark voracious "theek hai" speech.

Monday, April 29, 2013

Review: The Great Indian Novel



The ugly snake raises its head again after a year long hiatus in the golden bubble. In fact it did come out once, during that month which definitely wasn’t My December, in the form of a few random rumblings.
Yes, ideally book reviews come out pretty shortly after a book is released; but I couldn’t help the fact that The Great Indian Novel was released only on my 2nd birthday.  So here I am, penning down my thoughts on our Minister Sahab’s concoction of the Mahabharata and Indian politics.
To start with, The Mahabharata remains a personal favourite of mine. The way multiple stories blend into the great battle of Kurukshetra, makes the Mahabharata an enthralling experience everytime I come across a story from the Great Epic. Dr. Tharoor weaves a story by mixing characters from The Mahabharata and the Indian politics of the last 100 years. Not just the characters, but he also co-relates a number of events from both time periods. Initially, it does seem a bit weird to read a story from the early 19th century with characters called Ved Vyas, Pandu, Vidur etc. But the story does start settling in once the similarities between the characters are explained better. Dr. Tharoor does a brilliant job giving subtle but strong hints to relate his characters to each other. Not to forget, the modification in their names depicts a lot about his personal views as well. For instance, Lahore being called Laslut; Zulfikar Ali Bhutto being called Zaleel Singh Jhootha… never knew Dr. Tharoor’s sarcastic views about the 66 year old offspring of our country. For further details about the references, our good old friend works best: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Great_Indian_Novel
A few favourite lines from the book:
1.       There is no point in trying to judge a mighty river by its source. (oh, someone kill the caste based reservation system)
2.       You learn something about a man from the kind of stories people make up about him.
3.       The clash was as inevitable as its outcome was uncertain.
4.       Not every story is meant to end; often the essence of the tale lies in the telling.
5.       In life one must for ever choose between being one who tells stories and one about who stories are told.
6.       The roots of division must be traced deep in the soil.
7.       I do not reject you; rather I measure the years that I have grown;
I worship your grey hairs father, But- I must comb my own.
8.       It is always dangerous to mistake the enthusiasm of a select few for the support of the broad mass.
9.       No great man ever achieved greatness by sincerity of purpose alone. Truth is always individual.
10.   I am torn between the must and the ought.
11.   You should not give up your seat until you know how much standing room there is.
12.   You quote the letter of the Constitution while I cite its spirit.
13.   In India opinions are rarely founded on any sense of responsibility or any realistic expectation of action. (precisely what the ARNABS are doing right now)
14.   You cannot derive your cosmogony from a single birth.
15.   Only democrats presume to represent entire people, monarchs and oligarchs have no such pretensions.
16.   The Kamasutra is the only Indian book to have been read by more foreigners than Indians.
17.   India has too many Krishnas.
One analogy that I liked a lot was the assassination of Jarasandh being compared to the 1971 War. The assassination of Jarasandh by Bhim by splitting him into two into 2 opposite directions is wonderfully compared to the splitting up of Pakistan and the creation of Bangladesh. Not to forget, Bhim too was used to denote the Indian Army.
What I missed in the book:
1.       KRISHNA !!!- Yes, Krishna does make an entry in the last phases of the book, but there isn’t any analogy drawn with an Indian politician. Come on Dr. Tharoor .. Shri Krishna was one of the most powerful and unarguably the most interesting character from the Mahabharata; he did deserve a better deal. He being the kingmaker that he was, an allusion could very well have been drawn to Mahatma Gandhi. Probably Dr. Tharoor found Bhishma’s austerity, penance and hardships sustained more familiar than Krishna’s political prowess and female company.
2.       Sanjay Gandhi- One of the most enigmatic characters from post Independence Indian politics. Probably an analogy with child prodigy Abhimanyu could have added more colour to the novel, or Dr. Tharoor would have found that to be too much of a compliment for the first family’s dictator son.
3.       Doordarshan- The first TV channel from India that actually lifts its name from Sanjay’s gift from Mahabharata, and goes without even a mention. Not done !!
4.       A better allusion to the Emergency- Dr. Tharoor takes imagination to an altogether new level by drawing references as follows:
Yudhishtira as Judiciary; Bhim as Army; Arjun as Media; Nakul as Civil Service and Sahdev as Foreign Service. The part about Emergency could have actually mentioned Arjun getting arrested as the media rights did get suppressed during the 21 month Indian exile.
Apart from the above, a few of Ved Vyas’s dream sequences towards the end seem highly unnecessary and seem to be mentioned just because Dr. Tharoor did not want them to be missed from his novel. The poetry is brilliant, though seems to be too long in places. Throughout the novel, Shashi Tharoor effectively communicates what his background is, convent educated, the British connection does result into a mastery of the language and the use of numerous words that sent me running after the Mr. Oxfords and Mr. Cambridges. Dr. Tharoor also shows signs of suffering from the habit that most widely acclaimed Indian authors suffer from- over emphasis on scene descriptions and less focus on the narrative. It’s often forgotten that it is eventually a good narrative that keeps the reader hooked on to the book.
Dr. Tharoor reserves his best for the last. Towards the end, he changes the very end of Mahabharata and with it the definition of Dharma. It reminds me a lot of Anurag Kashyap’s Dev D where the protagonist doesn’t die in the end, unlike the previous Devdas movies, but goes on to start a new life, depicting the modern day psychologies. Yudhishthira’s following lines brilliantly showcase the essence of modern thinking:
“Accept doubt and diversity. Let each man live by his own code of conduct, so long as he has one. Derive your standards from the world around you and not from a heritage whose relevance must be constantly tested. Admit that there is more than one Truth, more than one Right, more than one DHARMA….”
To conclude, a highly recommended read. Signing off with a hope that what is preached here surely gets practiced by our author in power.


Thursday, December 13, 2012

The beginning or the end ?

कहानी ख़त्म है या शुरुआत होने को है ?
सुबह नहीं है या फिर रात होने को है ?

As Joi Barua sings the above lines in Udaan, I sit alone in my room, waiting for the demon called solitude to creep in further. In the language of statistics, the normal curve of solitude and darkness has not yet reached its peak.

Across the length of the country, my fellow comrades fight their own battles, some one, some many. I am not a part of the troop, because I couldn't make it or I did not want to or rather I just gave up without fighting. Yes, I can complain that some were wicked or some got plain lucky. 
But then they all fought, did they not ? When was the last time Lady Luck chose you for romance ? Ain't you well aware of the fact that it just cannot happen between the two of you ? 

As the sun sets in, I know I have not made it large, rather I might have dropped the hammer on my own head. The fall could not have been steeper. From living the life, to watching it all fall apart. Is there a transformation waiting to happen ? If yes, let there be a bend and not a break. 
The veterans said the golden crystal is a place where nobody is ever alone. Oh... did I not prove them wrong ?

Will there be light falling in, or will the forest get denser ? Will the prowler fight and emerge out victorious or will he be destined to disappear along the muddy paths and dark cocoons ?
The game has just begun.... the prowler hopes !

Thursday, March 15, 2012

The Ratna or not a Ratna

Should Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar, unarguably India's most loved sportsperson be awarded the Bharat Ratna ?? Probably a matter which has garnered great interest over the last few months.
Yes, in my modest opinion. Not because I belong to a generation which has grown up watching Sachin Tendulkar bat, and which still wonders what cricket will be like after the Big Man retires.
Initiated in 1954, the Bharat Ratna awards people for the highest degree of national service. Further definitions: 'national service' translates to public service, arts, literature, and the recent and most debated upon 'Sports''.

But honestly, do fields like arts, literature and sports need to be awarded with the highest Honour of the Country ?? I don't think so. No disrespect to the stalwarts of these fields, but is an act of excellence in fields like these worthy enough of the highest honour ?? The country has been battling a lot many problems and there have been people fighting against them. I honestly feel that the Bharat Ratna should be awarded only to men and women who have improved the lives of people in our country; people such as E. Sreedharan, T.N. Seshan, Kiran Bedi. Let the government find out more admnistrative officers, social workers, defence officers (would have loved to add politicians too but alas...) who are not just mere entertainers but "life-savers and improvers".

The situation with the Bharat Ratna has sadly not been so. The honour has been awarded to the likes of Satyajit Ray, Lata Mangeskar, M.S. Subbulakshmi. I honestly feel that the Bharat Ratna thus has lost its true sheen. If that be the case, why not then give it to Sachin Tendulkar also, who has been no less than the people mentioned above in his own field.




Friday, December 23, 2011

Qriocity- 2

1. The 'Peregrine Falcon', also known as the 'Duck Hawk' in North America, is a crow-sized falcon which feeds on small mammals and birds including the Blackbird. This feeding habit of the Peregrine Falcon led to the nomenclature of an iconic product of the automotive industry. Name the iconic product.



2. In 1985, small time Hollywood producer Menachem Golam met X's agent Tim Hudson, in a bid to convince X for an audition for James Bond. Golam believed that "X has the looks, the build and the accent to be the next James Bond, and at least he looked better than Tom Selleck. X eventually declined, realizing that 6 months of acting lessons might conflict with his actual day job. He later stated in his autobiography, "The whole place seemed to be full of hustlers and bullshitters, that was not a combination that had ever appealed to me."
Identify X.


3. Identify the significance of the below picture:


4. The picture below inspired an internet meme. Explain.



5. On February 26, 2011, M Night Shyamalan's The Last Airbender 'created history' by winning an all new Razzie. Which Razzie was it ??


6. American author Katherine Mayo in her 1927 book pointed to the treatment of India's women, the untouchables, the animals, the dirt, and the character of its nationalistic politicians. The book was written against the demands for self-rule and Indian independence. Mayo singled out the "rampant" and fatally weakening sexuality of its males to be at the core of all problems. The book was so widely criticized that even Gandhi called it a "report of a drain inspector sent out with the one purpose of opening and examining the drains of the country to be reported upon". 30 years later, a landmark Hindi movie borrowed its title from the title of the book. Identify the book.



7. Easy one... Identify the theme of this Time cover.




8. Wallace Hartley's funeral was attended by one thousand people, while 40,000 lined the route of his funeral procession. He is buried in Colne where a 10-foot monument, containing a carved violin at its base, was erected in his honour. Hartley's large Victorian terraced house in West Park Street, Dewsbury, West Yorkshire, bears a blue plaque to remind passers-by that this was his home. As of 2001, Hartley's name was still being used when naming new streets and housing in the town of Colne. What is Hartley's claim to fame ??



9. Apart from being Kamal Hassan starrers, what is common to the following movies:
Nayagan, Thevar Magan, Kuruthipunal, Indian, Hey Ram, Swathi Muthyam, Saagar.

10. Oicho Kabu is a traditional Japanese game similar to the BlackJack. The worst hand in the Oicho Kabu, an 8-9-3 has a notorious significance. What significance are we talking about ??



Friday, July 8, 2011

Qriocity- 1

Hello folks, here's a modest attempt at tickling the ever qrious Q-bone all you guys have. Hope you enjoy the questions !!

1. "Waha nukeele patthar nikle hai, to un par to koi baith nahi sakta. To zameen ko samtal karna padega, baithne layak banana padega. "
The above lines are known to be the source of a great controversy. Identify the speaker and the alleged context.

2. On his maiden ship voyage, he made an observation that whichever way the ship's wheel was spun, one of the spokes always came in direct line with a clutch, which would eventually hold it. He turned this observation into a hugely successful invention. Identify the inventor and his invention.

3. Connect:


4. Sri Yukteshwar Giri, Sri Mahavtar Babaji, Sri Paramhansa Yogananda, Sri Lahiri Mahasaya and Goddess Lakshmi finally made it on ‘ X’. There were also talks to include ‘Y’ on ‘X’, but fearing reprecussions, the people in charge decided against it. Identify X and Y.

5. What is the significance of the following lines ??
Chaar baans chaubees guz, angul asht pramaan,Taa oopar Sultan hai, Mat chooke Chauhan."


6. A member of the Bedfordshire Yeomantry in World War II, E.W. Swanton got captured by the Japanese in Singapore, and served 3 years as a POW. Swanton had a book with him which proved to be immensely popular amongst the prisoners. The book was badly torn due to heavy usage, but was repeatedly 'repaired' by the prisoners using 'rice paste.' The book is still preserved in a London Museum. Identify the book.


7. Connect the following pics:




8. Connect the following pics:




9. What is located at the following address: ?
1407 Graymalkin Lane, Salem Center, Westchester County, New York.

10. In the world of theater, what do we commonly refer to as the Fourth Wall and the Fifth Wall ??


Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Chalo Patna.....!!!!

Gurgaon, 2107 hrs, May 05, 2011
Dhruba: My father’s getting transferred to Ranchi.
Me: Great... Now please have your marriage take place at Ranchi. Probably then I shall have a chance of visiting the place again.
Dhruba: Sure dude, Ranchi it shall be, the day is not far away.

Delhi Airport, 1015 hrs, May 06, 2011
Jet Airways female: Sorry, our flight to Patna is overbooked, we don’t have any seats left.
Me and Sister: Are you out of your mind?? We ain’t here to catch a bus, we are here for a bloody aircraft.

----------Half an hour of fighting with the Jet officials and enquiries for alternatives---------

Jet female: Our two best options are, same flight for tomorrow, or an immediate flight to Ranchi and subsequent surface to Patna.
We (after few minutes of deliberations): We shall take the Ranchi flight.

Barely 4 days back, we were sitting in a theatre and treating ourselves to Lara Dutta’s miseries due to an altered journey in Chalo Dilli. Now, with us being subjected to a “Chalo Patna” situation, the next few hours did not seem to be too exciting.

However, it was Ranchi, the place where had grown up and the place which we loved. The excitement for a few minutes which we were going to spend in Ranchi, was good enough to beat the anguish over the 9 hours drive which would be following it. So after a delayed departure, we finally landed at the Birsa Munda Domestic Airport at 1330 hrs. Quite surprising that this was only the 2nd time I had landed at the Ranchi Airport, the first apparently when I was less than a year old. And why would I, almost all our journeys in 'those' days used to take place to Patna, and the good old Hatia-Patna Express was good enough for that. After an hour of chaos and confusion at the Airport, we were finally given a taxi which would take us to home...oh wait.. weren’t we already at home, at Ranchi ???

The drive started and it was after 6.5 years that I had stepped onto the Ranchi soil and it felt great. The first place of recognition was the Hinoo Golchakkar, the Temple, and the Sweet shop next to it. As we proceeded from the Golchakkar to the H.E.C. Main Gate, we realized that the renowned Chola Tailors was still holding its place while the petrol pump next to it had closed down. Birsa Chowk looked exactly the same and the entrance to the road leading to Hatia carried an arch reading “Hatia Railway Station”. We also spotted a new restaurant at the HEC Main Gate, and we just managed to convince the driver to take us for a brief round inside the HEC colony.

And thus we re-entered the cool, calm and serene world of Heavy Engineering Corporation. Much to our disappointment, the “jad se toot aped aur talaab (uprooted tree and pond)”  were nowhere to be seen. (Don’t break your heads, only me and my sisters can understand what this means !!!)

The huge football field on the left, the CD Type and E Type Quarters on the right, all seemed the same as they were 7 years back. There was a Mahindra showroom just opposite to the Russian Hostel Entrance, which itself was now converted to the Jharkhand Vidhaan Sabha. The roads too were in pretty much the same condition as I remembered them to be, and I could almost see myself cycling on them. We could spot numerous small blue coloured tents on our right as we crossed VVM, and why not, it was a Friday, the ‘Haat’ had to be there.  The driver then pointed us towards a bunch of floodlights, belonging to an International Cricket Stadium being constructed next to the Plant Hospital. Wow.... I didn’t know that!!!

We then took a round of the once-esteemed F-Type Colony and trust me, almost 7 years and you do expect some changes. The place didn’t seem to have any!!! In spite of F-29, our residence for over 5 years appearing pretty shabby, it was great to look at it after such a long time. The ruins of the broken boundary wall were still holding forte. We could also spot the Sector-3 Market and the “Rajesh Cycle Store” at its front.

For some strange reason, we did not press the driver to take us around E-3 and the Sector-2 market. Probably we were overflowing with gratitude for the guy for showing us around F-29, and requesting him for further deviations from his route would have been asking for too much. On our way back, we could also spot some yellow and brown St. Thomas buses just before the HEC Main Gate, dunno if they were the school-owned ones or HEC facilities.

The driver was also kind enough to pin-point MSD’s bungalow on the by-pass road. Other landmarks which we crossed on our way out were IIM Ranchi, BIT Mesra and Ormanjhi Zoo. It was quite pleasing to see how useful the by-pass road was, for taking people from the HEC Colony to once distant areas like Kadru, Morabadi, Bariatu etc.

An obvious change from my past visit was that majority of the vehicles on road carried the JH no. Plates, instead of the BR ones. Jharkhand was relatively a new state back in 2004, and majority of the vehicles still sported the Bihar reg. Plates. Also, for a place where the maximum spotted cars used to be Fiat, Ambassador and Maruti 800, there were quite a few SUVs to be seen. Government muscle, I suppose.

During the drive back, NH33 underwent a major transition as soon as we crossed the Jharkhand border. NH 33 in Jharkhand wasn’t terrible, but wasn’t great either. The road throughout was narrow enough to be called single-lane, and overtaking always seemed to be a dangerous option. Also, the roads were undergoing construction in a few places, making travelling not the most convenient job around. As soon as we entered Bihar, NH 33 pleasingly widened and the road condition substantially improved. It remained so for quite a while, after which it narrowed down again to a single lane mode. Whatever, Nitish Kumar definitely seems to be doing a better job in this department when compared to his Jharkhand counterparts.

We finally reached Patna at midnight, a good 9 hours after we left Ranchi. Our visit to Ranchi was restricted to barely 30 minutes, but as some say, good surprises do come in small packages.
To add to it, as much as we enjoyed the short Ranchi visit, Jet Airways.... UP YOURS !!!

Good old Ranchi definitely requires an extended visit (hope you are listening Dhruba).... ,
till then... JOHAAR !!!



Scorecard